I Hate 2008!

That is my new motto. It ryhmes and its true. Just when I couldn't get any lower, the other shoe drops. It's not enough all things I've been through, most of my family being truly horrid and crazy, not having a job, being treated like garbage, not being able to get pregnant...oh no that wasn't enough. Why should it be? Everything seems to work out for everyone. Most everyone has things just handed to them. They don't even realize how blessed they are. I try to be a good person, responsible and I've always done what everyone has expected me to. But it's all for nothing. I worked for 5 1/2 years in college so that I could be financially secure and now I don't have a job because of what should be a great oppurtunity. I know that Albuquerque is, but I can't see that right now. All I can think about is moving and packing and finding a place to live for Mike and I and my mom. I don't know what's going to happen with my mom. It's going to be hard. I don't even know that my car will make it. It broke down yesterday at school and I had to tow it home. I don't even know what's wrong with it. But we're pretty sure it will cost an arma dn a leg, two things that I will have to sell because I have no job. It's a peice of junk and I don't want to put any more money into it, but I can't afford another car. I don't know tha I will ever be able to. I lost an earring yesterday..one of my favorite pairs and I whacked my hand so hard it's a little swollen. If I hear one other person say that everyone goes through times like this I could scream. Yes, some people do- others don't and they're still not happy. I have several friends and family that are handed everything. I'm not just talking material things, I'm talking in life. They're irresponsible sometimes selfish people and they get what they want. What do I have to do? When do I get what I've worked for? I'm not talking a million dollars or things I don't deserve or didn't earn. I'm talking about what I have otherwise why bother? I know people who have worked hard and been a genuily good person their entire life and they have lived the hardest life- with very few good things. Am I destined to be that kind of person? When does it work out? Will it work out? I know I'm on a huge pity party, but I don't know how much more I can handle. It hasn't been just this year it's been my whole life. The only thing right now that motivates me to get out of bed right is my husband and the few people who truly love and care about me. I don't know what kind of person I would be without them. I guess I'm done now. It's time for me to suck it up and go find a job today.